In a Jiffy*

I was at the supermarket the other day, in desperate need of eye drops, when I came across two giggling eleven-year-old boys in the medicine/personal care aisle. Naturally, it was the condoms that caught their attention.

I wandered the aisle, desperate but unable to locate the eye products. I finally had to ask the pharmacist who pointed me in the right direction. Naturally, the eye drops were right where the giggling boys loitered. I guess the geniuses at Giant Food stores classify all lubricants equally, as the eye drops were shelved directly above  the KY. As I plucked a package of Refresh Tears (which included a free trial size!), one of the boys approached me, tittering. “Uh, excuse me Miss, which lube do you prefer?” He could barely keep in the laughter as his buddy abandoned him, sputtering towards the toothpaste. I thought for a moment and decided to make a difference in the boy’s life. I told him that lube is a very personal choice and I think it all comes down to experimenting until you find the brand that works for you.

 I walked away as he whipped out his ringing cell phone. With his buddy by his side once more, he shouted into the phone “Which type of lube do you prefer?” Giggle. Giggle. Pause. “No, Mom, we just left the movies and now were at Giant.” 

I’m just glad these kids aren’t learning about lube on the streets.

*This blog post is brought to you by Grape Jelly. Grape Jelly: If you’re using it as lube, check to ensure the tamper proof lid is in place before scooping.