I saw The Avengers last weekend. It was pretty good. Would
have been better with Batman, or Superman, or Poisoin Ivy----Oh wait do you
hear that? It’s the shouts of my nerd friends yelling at me about the
difference between DC and Marvel.
Anyway, the film was pretty good…Iron Man..YUM, he sure
makes me rusty for his rod of steel (even I don’t know what that means and I
just wrote it. Ok. It means sex). After
it ended, we of course stuck around for the teaser, after which the lights came
up and the credits continued. My pals, who had already seen the blockbuster
several times, knew to stick around. I stood up to stretch and turned to face
my crew and was promptly pelted with an M&M, Spree, or similarly disk
shaped candy. I looked up and in the top row of the theater were a flock of kids,
about 9 or 10 years old, and one harried looking dad.
I grimaced and nearly gave them the finger (an automatic
reaction), but morphed my hand into an intense “ok” sign. Pretty tough, I know.
The little jerks then pointed at each other, blaming the perfect pitch on their
seat mate (what rascals). Irritated, I plotted my revenge. Really, I wanted to
scare them more than anything. Well at least within the limits of the law.
Once the show finally ended, I waited for the kids to file
down the side stairs, glaring at them the entire way down. They were scared. We
poured into the lobby and half my posse, as well as other theatergoers hit the
loo. While we waited, I noticed the offending children close to me, within throwing
distance. One of my pals said, “there they are, go tell their dad about it.”
But what can I say; it’s just not my style. I reached into my pocket and dug
around for something to launch at them. Whatever it was was perfect; small,
round, and peltable. I aimed, fired, and hit one of the shocked boys. They
looked up at me, wide eyed…At which point I panicked and ducked into my
protective circle of friends. Turns out I threw an aspirin at the little dopes. Another friend shouted at me to “stop
throwing pharmaceuticals at the children.” We were late for dinner anyway. But
hey, if the kid was hurt by what I had thrown at him, he could have just popped
the pill!
